This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
