So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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