I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
