Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
