My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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