I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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