I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
