Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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