If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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