My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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