I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
