i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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