Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
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