i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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