he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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