do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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