hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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