im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
