i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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