good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
