my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize