I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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