they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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