There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
