Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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