he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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