I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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