Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
