whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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