EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
is wine microwaveable?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
