im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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