Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
