I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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