Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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