u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
