Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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