He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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