she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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