Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Never joke about your clitoris.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
