I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
