She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
