hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
