I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
