NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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