This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
