you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
