Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize