It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
