How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize