last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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