I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
