bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
