talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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