I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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