Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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