No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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