so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize