Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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