party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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