is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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