I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You're a waste of cheezeits
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
