what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
