PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
