Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
